Healthy Self Esteem for a healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Part 4 of 6 Part Series on Self Esteem
Dr. Kimberley
"Be Happy & Healthy with Dr. Kimberley"

The Faces & Consequences of Low Self-Esteem

The Three Faces of Low Self-Esteem


Most of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear:

The Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.

The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.

The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.

Consequences of Low Self-Esteem


Low self-esteem can have devastating consequences.

• It can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression.

• It can cause problems with friendships and relationships.

• It can seriously impair academic and job performance.

• It can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.

• Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively self-destructive behavior.

In my daily practice as a healer and coach, it is evident that many of life challenges stem from the root issue of self esteem. I am writing this six part series to show how healthy self esteem can be the springboard to a healthy mind, body and spirit.


Six part series - Self Esteem

1. What is Self Esteem
2. Poor Self Esteem vs Healthy Self Esteem
3. Where does Self Esteem come from?
4. The Faces & Consequences of Low Self Esteem
5. The Faces & Consequences of Healthy Self Esteem
6. 3 Steps to Change Your Self Esteem

Healthy Self Esteem for a healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Part 3 of 6 Part Series on Self Esteem
Dr. Kimberley
"Be Happy & Healthy with Dr. Kimberley"

Where Does Self-Esteem Come From?

Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem. When we were growing up, our successes, failures and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

Self-esteem is largely developed during childhood, and firmly entrenched usually around age 12.

What Does Your "Inner Voice" Say?

Our past experiences, even the things we don't usually think about, are all alive and active in our daily life in the form of an Inner Voice. Although most people do not "hear" this voice in the same way they would a spoken one, in many ways it acts in a similar way, constantly repeating those original messages to us.

For people with healthy self-esteem the messages of the inner voice are positive and reassuring. For people with low self-esteem, the inner voice becomes a harsh inner critic, constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling their accomplishments. Most of us have, at some point in our life, used the popular and usually true phrase ..."I am my own worst critic!"

The simple act of consciously changing your 'self talk' from negative to positive can change low self-esteem to healthy self-esteem. Part six of this series will give you some exercises to ensure your 'self talk' is positive and leading you to a balanced and healthy self-esteem.

In my daily practice as a healer and coach, it is evident that many of life challenges stem from the root issue of self esteem. I am writing this six part series to show how healthy self esteem can be the springboard to a healthy mind, body and spirit.


Six part series - Self Esteem

1. What is Self Esteem
2. Poor Self Esteem vs Healthy Self Esteem
3. Where does Self Esteem come from?
4. The Faces & Consequences of Low Self Esteem
5. The Faces & Consequences of Healthy Self Esteem
6. 3 Steps to Change Your Self Esteem

Healthy Self Esteem for a healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Part 2 of 6 Part Series on Self Esteem
Dr. Kimberley
"Be Happy & Healthy with Dr. Kimberley"

Poor Self-Esteem vs. Healthy Self-Esteem

People with poor self-esteem often rely on how they are doing in the present to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly plague them. Even then, the good feeling (from a good grade, scoring in the game, being flirted with, etc.) can be temporary.

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations (which is part of being human) and at the same time accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations.

In your heart of hearts, do you have poor self-esteem or Healthy Self-Esteem? Even the best of us has a moment of doubt, hesitation or feeling of "Maybe I'm just not good enough". The true measure is ...... Does that moment come and then quickly fade or does it linger on and become a perpetuating thought?

In my daily practice as a healer and coach, it is evident that many of lifes challenges stem from the root issue of self esteem. I am writing this six part series to show how healthy self esteem can be the springboard to a healthy mind, body and spirit.

Six part series - Self Esteem

1. What is Self Esteem
2. Poor Self Esteem vs Healthy Self Esteem
3. Where does Self Esteem come from?
4. The Faces & Consequences of Low Self Esteem
5. The Faces & Consequences of Healthy Self Esteem
6. 3 Steps to Change Your Self Esteem

Healthy Self Esteem for a healthy Mind, Body and Spirit

Part 1 of 6 Part Series on Self Esteem
Dr. Kimberley
"Be Happy & Healthy with Dr. Kimberley"

What is Self-Esteem?

Most people's feelings and thoughts about themselves fluctuate somewhat based on their daily experiences. The grade you get on an exam, how your friends treat you, how you played in the game, ups and downs in a romantic relationship ... all can have a temporary impact on your wellbeing. Self Esteem is how you 'see' yourself in the mirror of your soul.

Your self-esteem, is something more fundamental than the normal "ups and downs" associated with situational changes. For people with good basic self-esteem, normal "ups and downs" may lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves, but only to a limited extent. In contrast, for people with poor basic self-esteem, these "ups and downs" may reinforce negative beliefs about self worth, drastically affecting how someone feels about themselves, making all the difference in the world.

In my daily practice as a healer and coach, it is evident that many of lifes challenges stem from the root issue of self esteem. I am writing this six part series to show how healthy self esteem can be the springboard to a healthy mind, body and spirit.

Six part series - Self Esteem

1. What is Self Esteem
2. Poor Self Esteem vs Healthy Self Esteem
3. Where does Self Esteem come from?
4. The Faces & Consequences of Low Self Esteem
5. The Faces & Consequences of Healthy Self Esteem
6. 3 Steps to Change Your Self Esteem